soxgrrl: (markcomeoverthere)
2009-05-02 12:57 pm

(no subject)

Damn--I knew we shouldn't have let Masterson, with his impressionable young mind, spend so much time hanging with the wrong crowd starting rotation. First comes the inflated ERA, next comes the pot smoking and loose women--you mark my words.
soxgrrl: (markcomeoverthere)
2009-05-01 04:31 pm

That's "van Everything" to you, pal!

Sigh, what had been a mere niggling suspicion since opening week has now doffed the mantle of incontrovertible fact—the Boston Red Sox are the only team in major league baseball incapable of beating the friggin’ Devil Rays.

Can’t help but notice that the suck bug that’s bitten the starting rotation seems to be working like the swine flu—bypassing the very old (Wake) and the very young (Masterson) and just cutting down the guys in their prime. Awesome.

On the upside, it would appear that Jonathan van Every is angling to take über-utilityman Dave McCarty’s place in my heart. He’s got the improbable game-winning home run under his belt, as well as outfield and inning-eating capabilities...now we just need to see a little infield D to make a final determination. With a little luck, that will happen sooner rather than later—‘cause once my Julio Lugo voodoo doll is back up and running, we’ll be needing a back-up shortstop again.

Speaking of The Human Swiss Army Knife McCarty, where the hell has he been lately? No disrespect to Jim Ed or the Eck Mullet, but Dave—despite his awkward, third-grader-giving-a-book-report-like beginnings as a broadcaster—quietly morphed into my favorite partner for TC on the post-game show. Am I mistaken, or have we not seen him yet this year?

**One Hour Later**

...Then again this!!!!! is considerably more than acceptable. How did I not hear about this on Sports Desk this morning?????
soxgrrl: (nicehairpap)
2009-04-23 06:00 pm

Best! Administrative Professionals Day! Ever!

Or, if you’re Tito Francona—Best! Birthday! Ever!

Why? Because the John Henry Group got him a Righteous Dave Roberts for his big 5-0, that’s why!

That’s right, people—DAVE ROBERTS IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!

DAVE ROBERTS (PRAISE BE HIS NAME) CAME TO FENWAY AND MADE THE RAIN STOP!!!! BATHE IN THE WHITE HOT RADIANCE OF HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND TRUTH MUTHA@#$%&S!!!!

::deep breath::

Okay, I’m calm now...But seriously, only the oft-lamented narrowness of the Fenway stands kept me from actually prostrating myself.

Moving on...

Nice to see my rain delay win streak mojo continue unabated (I don’t count this game. Since it ended up as a full-on postponement, I account myself in no way responsible for how it turned out). It’s nice to know that having to uncomfortably press flesh with the huddled masses in the creaky innards of Fenway does not go unrecognized by the gods.

The game time temperature is about 20 below (Carl Beane says 49º but I’m not buying it), so naturally Brad Penny takes the mound rocking the sleeveless look. This is because Brad Penny is (choose one) :

A. Strapping and manly
B. Insane
C. Half in the tank
D. Warmed by the perpetual glow that surrounds The Righteous Dave Roberts (as are we all, Brad, as are we all...)

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, every year somebody’s choice of at-bat music can be counted on to amuse the hell out of me. This year it’s Jacoby Ellsbury leading off to Smashing Pumpkins’ "Cherub Rock." First of all, he was, like, ten when this song came out. Second, he’s Jacoby—you know, "That nice Ellsbury boy." Although perhaps that’s the point...like if he just tries hard enough, he can will himself into becoming Dustin Pedroia. It’s so cute.

Just when I think they used up all the offense in the Game 1, our first basetemp answers the age-old question "Jeff Bailey, won’t you please come home?" with a resounding "Hell yes!" And he brings Tek and JD Useless with him. And I didn’t even have to offer to cook or pay the rent or anything.

You Know You're a RemDawg Fan if...With Big Papi on third and nobody out, you're totally thinking "squeeze play!"

As if Dave Roberts (PRAISE HIM!) weren’t enough to thaw a frozen Fenway night, the defense was smokin’! Youk’s diving stab of a line drive! Jacoby’s leaping catch against the wall! Two—two!— L4-3 double plays! And a nicely executed 6-4-3 to boot (never let it be said that I'm not a girl who appreciate the classics)! I honestly didn’t know what I’d have to take first when I got home—a hot shower or a cold one.

The Captain is no idiot. Displaying an IQ considerably higher than his batting average, Tek shrewdly times his 6th inning plate approach to coincide with this announcement. Thus does he garner the loudest (well, second loudest, what with Dave Roberts an’ all) ovation of the night.

I may have swooned when Okajima came in the 8th and threw 10 pitches—9 of them for strikes. May have. Just a little.

The Jonathan Papelbon Experience...If you’ve seen it, you know. If you haven't, I don't know what to say. Except that I pity you.
soxgrrl: (wakey and dougie)
2009-04-11 12:08 pm

(no subject)

Honestly can’t begrudge the Angels their victory last night; however, it is a bit disappointing to see Tim Wakefield and the offense still unable to resolve their long-standing differences. Do we have to call in the UN?

From the "Department of Inappropriate Reactions"—Did anyone else get queasy watching Scott Boras’s press-conference Oscar bid as he mourned the loss of a bright, young revenue stream...or am I just too cynical?
soxgrrl: (Default)
2009-04-09 02:02 pm

Damn

Hate to see any team suffer a loss like this, but I’ve had a soft spot for the Angels since they knocked the Yankees out of the ’02 playoffs. Not really a praying person but thoughts are definitely with his teammates and family.
soxgrrl: (Default)
2009-04-09 12:23 pm

Dear Universe...

Well that was hardly the momentum sustainer I was looking for, but cut for ‘Lost’ spoiler ), I’ll call it even.
soxgrrl: (DreamyJoshBeckett)
2009-04-08 12:34 pm

Sox yay! NESN nay.

Some brief—and pretty much pointless—observations re Opening Day Redux…

Dear NESN: Hate the new theme music...or I think I would if I could recall a note of it.

The Hebrew Hammer is a Devil Ray???? Not quite as horrifying as Cabby as an A, perhaps, but nevertheless wrong.

Dustin Pedroia apparently has no intention of relinquishing the MVP title. Nor should he.

The very first inning of the very first game of 2009 and we leave ‘em loaded. Some things just never freakin’ change.

Apparently bored after two perfect innings, Beckett decides to toy with the fishies in the 3rd inning by letting them get on base and score the tying run and just generally letting them believe they have a chance. Back in the dugout, someone must admonish him that if he keeps this shit up he’ll miss the Bruins game at 7:30, because he stops screwing around after that. (I have no earthly idea whether Beckett actually watches hockey, but I don’t think it’s beyond the scope of reason to think Joshua would like a sport where people frequently hit each other with sticks.)

Remsillo are practically writing sonnets to Youk’s 3rd inning at-bat...Y’know, I’d actually forgotten how much I missed seeing a Youk at-bat.

Dear Fox NESN: What’s with the damn Wolverine ads wrapping around the replays??? Seriously, what network am I watching?

Carlos Peña enjoys the hometown cheers so much he decides to K in every at bat to keep the applause coming. Interesting tactic. (Gabe Kapler opts for the more restrained approach of just sitting in the dugout being awesome.)

Dear NESN: It’s bad enough that the first W.B. Mason Extra Innings of the season is an abbreviated affair (esp. since we’ll miss the always reliable pleasure watching Eck be giddy as a schoolgirl over stellar pitching)—do we have to take up time talking about the Bruins?

Dear Josh BecKKKKKKKKKKett: Welcome back—we’ve missed the @#$%! out of you!
soxgrrl: (DreamyJoshBeckett)
2009-04-07 12:23 pm

Opening Day, Take II

::coughs violently after blowing dust and cobwebs off LJ::

Alright, so there was no baseball played at Fenway...Still, I left the office knowing the Mets had won and arrived home in time to view the final two innings of a Yankee defeat. All in all, that counts as a good day. (DLowe’s nationally televised pwn-age of the Phillies* the night before also counts toward the Monday good vibes, much the same way that going to Mass on Saturday night—back when I did that sort of thing—counted as going on Sunday.)

I was horrified, however, by the soul-curdling sight of Orlando Cabrera wearing the uniform of a Choakland A. What did Cabby ever do to God to merit sharing a clubhouse with Sweaty Pig-Face Giambi? Or Nomar Garciaparra, for that matter? (Not that I have anything against Nomar, but I imagine that’s gotta be awkward.)



*With apologies to any Phillies fans who may still be hanging around my long-neglected friends list—I’m sure you’re all wonderful people, but I find myself unable to forgive the fanbase en masse for their appalling treatment of Tito. (Why yes, I do hold grudges against complete strangers on behalf of people I’ve never even met…stop looking at me like that’s unreasonable or something.)
soxgrrl: (jasonsmilecaptext)
2007-09-26 09:51 am

And the Number of the Counting Shall Be 3...

Best thing to have when you’re a sucky hitter?

A brother who’s an even suckier pitcher. I wonder if they practiced that "work the walk" schtick in the back yard growing up.

Lugo vs. Lugo...The gods themselves did tremble.

And apparently the only way Gagné can get a standing ovation at Fenway is to pay off the scoreboard keepers...Oh, wait, it was all true!!!! I wonder how Joe Torre feels knowing he has a bullpen capable of out-sucking Tampa Bay’s (well, I would wonder if I gave a rat’s ass how Torre felt).
soxgrrl: (Default)
2007-09-06 09:05 am

Dear MBTA...

The only explanation that makes any sense is that you’ve discontinued the 57 as an active bus line.

You just haven’t bothered to tell us yet.
soxgrrl: (jasonsmilecaptext)
2007-09-04 08:58 am

Yankee Sweep? What Yankee Sweep?

Now that’s how you snap a 4-game losing streak.

Thank you, Clay.

You big boys on the team better stop shaking down the rookies for their lunch money ‘cause those kids are the only reason I’m talking to you again...Well, them and Mike Lowell, but you get what I’m saying.

Anyways, keep this up and I predict the Pawtucket Red Sox will win the American League East running away.
soxgrrl: (Default)
2007-08-30 10:48 am

"I had my craw surgically removed so I could sleep at night..."

Answer: 6*
Question: What is “How many Green Line trains went by as I was waiting for the bus?”


Dear #57 Drivers:

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Seriously. It’s driving. Not rocket science. Driving. Gas pedal, brake, occasionally turn the little wheelie-thing…any of this ringing a bell? (Ringing the bell means “stop”, btw—some of you seem unclear on this concept.)

Gah. It wasn’t enough to usurp the Crown of Suck from the #66? Now you’ve got me actively longing for the Green Line? The Green Line????

To each and every one of you, I hope when your time comes, it’s slow and painful. Just like my commute.

*That’s a new record, btw, so hat’s off to you!
________________

Dear Ball Club that I’m Currently No Longer Speaking To:

Go ahead, get swept. See if I give a fuck.
________________

Dear HBO:

Thank you for Flight of the Conchords. Man, did I need that last night.

Don’t wear the ring, Frodo...
soxgrrl: (Default)
2007-08-29 09:15 am

Every Time the Yankees Win, God Kills a Kitten

Well, that was an ice cold bucket of water poured all over my good mood.

On a more triumphant note, my short, pudgy-legged self beat the #57 bus in a race from BU West to Harvard Ave. Because the MBTA sucks worse than J.D. Drew.
soxgrrl: (dmatinterview)
2007-08-28 08:49 am

They're Grrreeeaaat!

Apparently inspired by the Red Sox recent beatdown of their Central Division “rivals,” the Detroit Tigers decided to play a little football of their own, shutting out the Yankees to the tune of two touchdowns and a safety.

Thank you, Detroit. And thank you, ESPN, for letting me be a part of it.

Now if only our offense can let Dice-K in on a little of the lovin’ they’ve been spreading around lately...
soxgrrl: (DreamyJoshBeckett)
2007-08-06 12:27 pm

Perhaps it was the heat...

...or the drugs the damn dentist gave me, but I could swear that I saw the Red Sox actually take a series at Safeco Field.

And our centerfielder nearly get run over by a moose. (That creature’s lucky he clipped a mellow guy like Coco and not, say, Mike Timlin. Else he’d soon find himself trading in his mascot days for a future as Big Fitty’s latest hood ornament.)

In semi-related news, every time I think I’ve made peace with Julio Lugo, I have to go and watch a Mets game. Seeing Jose Reyes’ one-man infield impression just pisses me off all over again.

Also, Alfonso Soriano runs faster on one leg than I can on two. How, er, lame is that?
soxgrrl: (wakey and dougie)
2007-08-03 01:48 pm

Happy (Belated) 41st Wakey

"I'll take all the time you want and brag about him," Terry Francona said. "He's a pro, he's been a pro, he will continue to be a pro. For him to be at that stage in his career and being successful, it's taken a lot of hard work. 'Cause the older you get -- what is he, 48 today, 49? -- you have to work really hard to stay productive, and he has done that."

Tito kills me.
soxgrrl: (wakey and dougie)
2007-08-03 08:34 am

WTF?

Okay, whoever had Hinske and ‘Belli go back-to-back in the Never Ever Happen in a Million Years pool, pay up. ‘Cause you totally lost. (I have Wily Mo Peña Wins Gold Glove—so there’s no way I’m losing this thing.)

Also, hearing that Roger Clemens got booed off the field at Yankee Stadium actually made me wish I had the YES network. Just for a day.
soxgrrl: (jasonsmilecaptext)
2007-07-31 04:11 pm

(no subject)

Gagne. Nice.

Does shipping out Kason meant that the Schill-dog's ready to go? Or are we looking at Jooligan back in the rotation and Snyder morphing back into the long man?

I see the Yankees traded Scott Proctor to the Dodgers. Damn. (Although I'm sure he'll appreciate the rest.)
soxgrrl: (Default)
2007-07-27 09:14 am

(no subject)

This morning marks the third time in two weeks that my MBTA commute has taken as long or longer than if I'd just walked it (and I'm no candidate for Athlete of the Year--hell, I'm a weeble with legs).

I'd say that everyone affiliated with the T should just up and perish of shame already, but perhaps they already have and that's why the buses don't show up.
soxgrrl: (Default)
2007-07-26 03:06 pm

…And No Jury Would Convict Him

Would that Joshua had simply taken his hunting rifle and picked Coco/Tek/Lugo off the basepaths himself.

Would’ve been less embarrassing that way.